Father’s Day 2017

Written by Sean Murphy. Posted in Quotes, skmurphy

A collection of quotes and stories related to fathers and fatherhood for Father’s Day 2017.

Father’s Day 2017

I thought I would share some quotes I had collected related to fathers and child raising and offer some memories they evoked.

You are In a Maze of Twisty Little Passages

“When I was a kid my father would say,
if you get lost, don’t look for me.
Stay there. Stay there and I will find you.

He’s gone now.”

Maria Kalman and Daniel Handler in “Hurry up and wait

I found this poignant. I remember getting lost as a kid in large department stores where I would be distracted by something and find myself in a forest of legs, none of which belonged to my parents. I took my four year old son in on a Saturday to the office once, it was dead quite and he was so excited he ran off and got lost in a maze of cubicles. He was too small to see over the cubes and became disoriented running around. I could hear him running around furiously. I called out “Stay where you are, I will find you.” After a while his panic left  him and he sat down and then I found him.

Children Learn From Every Example We Offer Them

“The hardest thing to allow my child is my mistakes.”
James Richardson in “Vectors

It is humbling in so many ways to see a smaller version of yourself absorbing your faults and making your same mistakes. I can remember my younger son sitting on the couch when he was three saying “give me the mote” and then snatching up the remote control for the television and I had a clear view of how I acted.

Kindness to a Father Will Not Be Forgotten

My child, help your father in his old age,
   and do not grieve him as long as he lives;
even if his mind fails, be patient with him;
   because you have all your faculties do not despise him.
For kindness to a father will not be forgotten,
   and will be credited to you against your sins;
in the day of your distress it will be remembered in your favor;
   like frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away. 
Sirach 3:12-15

Not sure how the books will balance on this one. I left for college at 18 and visited sporadically but we did speak almost every week for an hour or so over the next four decades until he passed away. He had congestive heart failure after a hip operation and I flew back to be with him. When he woke up and saw me he said, “Now I know it’s serious if you have flown back.” Ultimately he was fine. A few years later he had a stroke and I spent 10 days in a hospital room with him, he slept at lot early on but we did get a chance to talk a lot.

After a While, Grief’s Ebb and Flow Gets Slower

“I used to write a lot about my grandmother but in recent years I’ve done so less and less. After a while, grief’s ebb and flow gets slower, and gains more perspective. That person you lost becomes less about missing them and more about subtly upholding the mutual values and things you shared, so much so that there might be days where you don’t even notice it; that person simply lives on through you.”
Sally Gurteen in an Instagram post

It took me a long time to get over the death of my father but I think Gurteen’s aspiration to have his values and example live on in my actions is a good one to embrace.

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