Here are three tips for small talk and casual conversation: relax, be genuinely curious, be forthcoming about yourself, don’t just ask questions.
Three Tips for Small Talk and Casual Conversation
“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.”
Wilson Mizner
One of the more challenging aspects of entrepreneurship for engineers is the need to be able to engage in “small talk” and casual conversation with strangers. I have three suggestions that go to state of mind more than tactics:
- Relax. It’s not a test or a contest, it’s more like solving a puzzle together: what can we discover that we have in common.
- One way to relax, and to help the other person relax, is to approach them with a smile. A smile invites conversation, projects confidence, and requires no talking.
- I view my network as the people I have a positive emotional reaction to when I am contacted by them. Other folks probably look at it the same way. Put folks at ease and leave them with a smile on their face.
- Have a sense of warm curiosity about the other person. Ask open ended questions.
- One mindset I find very helpful is “appreciative inquiry.” Try to determine what they have accomplished and what they are doing right.
- Consider what can you learn from the other person.
- Be forthcoming: share details from your recent experiences and your reaction to them.
- If you are trying to earn someone’s trust, you have to share details of your life and your challenges.
- You don’t have to share deeply embarrassing details, take an approach of progressive mutual disclosure where each person takes turns sharing.
“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
Somerset Maugham
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